As we approach the ending of 2014, there is a lot for which to be grateful as LGBTQ Persons. Marriage Equality still has its fight on in some states, but the battle has been won in others, and truly – I see this as going the same way the ERA did years ago. Popular opinion of the vast majority of the population in America shows support for Gay Marriage, or at the very least…indifference as to the need to oppose it. We’re almost there.
Of course we know from humankind’s history that you can legislate prejudice away, but eliminating it as a practice is quite another issue. I still believe in Respect and Dignity for All. I don’t expect to change everyone. I just want to co-exist peacefully alongside my neighbors and have the same rights and protections for my family, as they wants for theirs.
I want to know that “community” is not just a campy word used to describe a sub-culture or fragment of the population, but a truly inclusive term that encompasses my neighbors, my fellow residents of state, country and planet.
I received an email from Rea Carey, Executive Director of the National LGBTQ Task Force with an invitation to let her know what my concerns were for the coming year. Of course, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only person who got that email, still it was a personable gesture and I took some time to put my thoughts together and share.
Here’s what I sent. I share these with you who have followed this blog, and those who may be checking in for the first time. They aren’t necessarily unique or profound, they are just mine…
Dear Rea,
Thank you for this opportunity to communicate with you directly. I have 2 major areas of concern that I would like to see as part of our focus for the coming year.
First, according to the StopBullying.gov site, there are still no Federal laws on the books that specifically address bullying. Although bullying can be covered under other anti-discrimination legislation, I believe that still permits for a degree of “interpretation” when it comes to schools and other institutions. We have made excellent advances in awareness on this issue, but I would also like the awareness and proactive work to extend to the workplace as well. Again, we have made great strides, and I believe we can go even further to ensure that Everyone is guaranteed their Rights and Freedoms as fellow human beings.
Secondly, I’m not even sure what work has been done in this area, so forgive me if I am asking for something already in progress, but I would also like to see more educational efforts and outreach within the LGBTQ community, as well as with law enforcement and other agencies, in the area of domestic violence within LGBTQ relationships and partnerships. I believe we must first remove the “stigma” and element of denial within our own community, and then help to educate the appropriate agencies so that there can be accurate assessment and help can be given to those in need.
I appreciate all your dedication and work on the Task Force, and this invitation to offer my feedback. May you, your family, your staff and friends and their families have meaningful and joyful holidays. After all, we deserve it! 🙂
“What matters most is what’s inside. What matters most is the sense of integrity, of quality and beauty.” –Oprah Winfrey
Two groups of students from the David Lloyd George Elementary and Churchill secondary schools came together recently to stage a “flashmob” scene in a metropolitan shopping mall, Oakridge Centre in Vancouver B.C.. They wanted to do something in support of International Anti-Bullying Day. Their message: Acceptance.
Here’s the phenomenal result:
Words from the song they are dancing to include:
“When I see your face
There’s not a thing I would change
Because you’re amazing
Just the way you are.”*
Love and inclusion are the most powerful Forces we have. Respect for All, compassion and allowing are the ways of the Peace Keepers. We have to focus on what we want to create for ourselves, or else we will become the object of our resentments and fears
The best way to accomplish change is to become the change you wish to see in the world.
If we want more acceptance and understanding, then we must be more accepting and understanding. I celebrate the message these young people are communicating and the creative manner in which they chose to broadcast it. May we see more and more of this is the days to come. -MsQueer
Every year, children as young as 11 are trafficked involuntarily to Super Bowl cities. There, football fans – usually men, often inebriated – will pay traffickers to have sex with them.
The Texas Attorney General estimates these kids have a life expectancy of just seven years from the time they’re first trafficked.
This year, the Super Bowl Host Committee is charged “to engage in responsible planning . . . to ensure the readiness of North Texas to host the first Super Bowl in the Cowboys’ new stadium.”
Local anti-trafficking groups have repeatedly offered to help the Committee use its influence to educate fans and the public about the dangers of child trafficking — which could help to prevent thousands of rapes and abuses at America’s biggest sporting event.
But the Host Committee has refused to take meaningful action. And thousands of children will pay the price.
In Dallas, a terrific local organization called Traffick911 has created the “I’m Not Buying It” campaign. They’ve offered the Host Committee free PSAs, posters, banners and informational cards to educate the public and protect children from being abused and raped.
But the Host Committee refuses to display the information.
The Committee is working hard right now to generate good publicity for North Texas and the game, so public pressure at this moment will be especially powerful.
Tell the Super Bowl Host Committee that they have a responsibility to protect the children who’ll be trafficked to Texas for the Super Bowl:
We are at a crossroad as LGBTQ people. We are actively lobbying in the political arena for equal rights. We are also vocal in the socio-cultural arena “demanding” Respect.
We can March, we can Lobby, we can form non-profit Activist groups until we are blue in the face, BUT UNTIL WE ARE WILLING TO LIVE WHAT WE SAY WE WANT WE WILL GET NO-WHERE!
We cannot expect Respect from others when we are not willing to grant it within our own community. Or the Global Community at large. It is not acceptable for us to remain factionalized. We can’t march together for Pride then go off into our little click groups demeaning the others we just walked alongside demanding “Respect for Diversity.”
IF WE WANT CHANGE WE MUST BE THE CHANGE WE WANT!
So if you are a Lesbian and hating Gay Men, or Bisexuals or Transgendered Persons, IT DOESN’T WORK!
If you are a Gay Man who cuts down Lesbians, or Bisexuals or Transgendered Persons, IT DOESN’T WORK!
If you are a Bisexual or Transgendered Person who has made Lesbians or Gays or anyone else the enemy – IT DOESN’T WORK!
If we want to end Bullying we need to stop practicing it. That extends to our Straight Allies. (If we believe that we didn’t choose our sexual orientation then they didn’t either – so let’s not hold that against them!) 😉
I DON’T USUALLY SHOUT THIS MUCH IN THIS SPACE – but I’m tired of the HYPOCRISY.
We need massive change in society – American society in particular, which seems to be way behind the European and some other societies and cultures. If we are going to achieve that then we need to tear down the fences between ourselves as LGBTQ and TRULY live in Respect of one another. We have to heal our “Society” first.
I may not understand everyone’s orientation, any more than I understand everyone’s views or opinions or life experiences. But here’s what I know – I can RESPECT anyone. If I’m going to demand respect for my choices then I MUST be willing to respect those of others – whether or not I agree with or understand them.
Here’s a video that I found on YouTube since the “It Get’s Better” Project took off. It deals with someone within the LGBTQ community who is targeting Transgendered people. Please, let’s put this kind of crap to rest – For everyone’s sake. -MsQ
AWESOME Video put together for The Trevor Project and the It Gets Better Project. Thanks to all who made this video possible – you are amazing. Nuff said!
Please help share this video with as many people as you can! Help get this beautiful and powerful message out to our LGBTQ Youth! -Deb Adler
GLAAD (Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation) has launched a “Wear Purple on October 20 for Spirit Day” Campaign on Facebook, Twitter and through its website:
to ask people to honor the recent LGBTQ teens who committed suicide and to End Anti-Gay Bullying.
Here are some of the suggested additional activities:
“ On Wednesday, post this tweet:I’m wearing purple to end anti-LGBT bullying – make your profile pic purple today #SpiritDay http://glaad.org/spiritday”
“On Wednesday, post this Facebook status:I’m wearing purple today to support LGBT youth – make your profile pic purple today for Spirit Day athttp://glaad.org/spiritday”
Please visithttp://www.glaad.org/spiritdayand support providing safe schools free from bullying for LGBTQ and all Youth!
This is re-published from YouTube channel SeanChapin1 | October 10, 2010
“Video montage of the “Stand Up To Youth Suicide” rally and candle light march in San Francisco on October 8, 2010, organized by Affirmation: Gay and Lesbian Mormons. Featuring speakers from The Trevor Project, GSA Network, Soulforce and more (including myself singing my original song “It Gets Better” as an homage to Dan Savage’s project).
“If you are an LGBT student and in need of help, the following organizations and projects are here to support you (if I am missing any, please contact me):”
The following teens committed suicide during the month of September due to bullying:
Billy Lucas (15) September 9, 2010. Indiana
Cody J. Barker (17) September 13, 2010. Wisconsin
Seth Walsh (13) September 19, 2010. California
Tyler Clementi (18) September 22, 2010. New Jersey
Asher Brown (13) September 23, 2010. Texas
Harrison Chase Brown (15) September, 25 2010. Colorado
Raymond Chase (19) September 29, 2010. Rhode Island
Felix Sacco (17) September 29, 2010. Massachusetts
Caleb Nolt (14) September 30, 2010. Indiana
It’s time for us to come together now in a united front to support safe schools and provide a loving and nurturing environment for ALL youth. These tragic deaths must end now. -Deb Adler
Here’s the video and the text from my submission to the “It Gets Better Project” on You Tube.
Hi. My name is Deb Adler. I’ve been out for about 40 years. I’m a singer-songwriter. I’ve been a professional actor, a businesswoman, an entrepreneur, and I‘m also the author of a blog called MsQueer.com.
I just wanted to share with you that whatever you’re experiencing today as a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender youth in school…it does get better…
Whatever you might be feeling right now…it’s not “Forever” – and whatever you’re facing right now in terms of how other kids treat you at school – or even your family – it’s really just temporary. Just hang in there…it gets better.
I was this total tom-boy in grade school. They didn’t use labels like “Butch” – or “Dyke” then. I always played with the boys, I excelled in sports.
I didn’t really get harassed by my peers, but I had this fifth grade teacher who called my parents in for a conference because she felt they should be concerned that I wasn’t more “lady-like” and didn’t involve myself in more “girl-type” activities. My mom told her to back off and leave me alone – in no uncertain terms – which I think was pretty cool!
Even though I didn’t experience bullying in school, I can remember being really confused and scared by thoughts of wanting to lean over and kiss the girls in my class – as early as grade school – and feelings of attraction that I didn’t understand. I got really scared.
I thought I was sick or bad or something. I didn’t know. I mean, it’s not like there were celebrity role models – like Ellen or Rosie – around at that time. There were NO popular TV Shows or movies that dealt with being Queer. There was nobody I could talk to, so I had to keep this giant secret – that I didn’t understand and was afraid of – all to myself. All I knew was I was different, and I was pretty sure my “difference” wasn’t socially acceptable. I was convinced that if anyone found out the truth about me they’d haul me away and lock me up forever. So that’s what I lived with.
But I survived! And that’s the point. You can get through whatever you’re experiencing.
It Does gets Better.
I had thoughts of ending my life, but I’m really glad today that I didn’t! There are so many experiences I would have lost out on if I had ended my life as a teen.
In high school, I earned my school letter playing sports in Girl’s Athletic Association; I was elected President of that organization in my senior year, I was active in the Girl Scouts all through High School – and got teased for that – but we went camping and did cool stuff – we worked for three years and organized a week-long trip to Washington DC. – that the other kids didn’t get – and we had a blast!
I wrote songs, I sang in choirs; I even had the lead in the senior play, which was really kind of funny because I had to kiss a guy on stage in this big scene and that was really awkward! But I didn’t hide. I was active in school; I excelled at the things I loved. And that helped get me through.
I got to be a camp counselor and met some really great women – some of them are still friends today. If I had ended my life early, I would have missed out on all that, and so much more.
See when you don’t allow other people’s opinions of you to rule your life, they become powerless. If kids talked about me, I did my best to ignore it. I found friends and teachers who supported me and cared about me and that’s who I interacted with.
And It Does Get Better.
When I went away to college, I discovered this amazing book by Del Martin and Phyllis Lyons called Lesbian/Woman, and these ladies had it together. They had already been together as a couple for years -in the Fifties! – and their message was – We’re okay. I was so relieved to find out who I was and what I was about….I started writing “coming out” songs and singing at rallies and special events. I started accepting me. Once we accept and get to love ourselves…we find others who accept and love us.
I’ve been part of a global humanitarian volunteer organization for over twenty five years and I have friends –straight, gay, old, young – from all over the world who love and accept me for who I am. We’ve done some amazing things together helping others, building projects, cultural programs, traveling all over the States and Canada – that’s been so rewarding. I wouldn’t have missed a minute of it!
Bottom line – I’m okay – you’re okay, and We are okay GAY. – or Bi, or Trans – or however you call yourself.
So if you’re being bullied by kids in school, they’re just acting out their own ignorance. Don’t let someone else’s stupidity screw up your life. It gets better.
If someone’s harassing you on Facebook or Twitter – UNFRIEND them. You don’t have to put up with their crap! Don’t interact with the haters. Stay with the winners.
It gets better – I know being harassed isn’t fun and it can be really painful at times, even but you know what – I came through recovery from addiction over 30 years ago – one day at a time – sometimes one moment at a time, and if I can do it – you can do it.
Nothing is forever. There’s a better life waiting for you at the end of school.
If things get too overwhelming or you think there’s no one to talk to – there are resources out there – like The Trevor Project. That’s a 24/7 Nationwide Helpline for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning youth. Call them. There are compassionate understanding people at the other end of that phone line. Their number is 1-866-488-7386. Website is www.thetrevorproject.org
So just hang in there. It Does Get Better. You have gifts to give to this world – stick around! Learn to be proud of who you are. There’s a lot of life out there to live – and love.
I want to share with you a quote from a woman of both Native American and European heritage, known to many as an ambassador for peace, an advocate for human rights, and my spiritual mentor for over 25 years. Her name is Grandmother Parisha, and I’ve never met anyone more inclusive, more accepting than her. She’s had her own life’s challenges – here’s what she says:
“I am an old warrior, I have my scars, and I have counted my losses,
but I am stronger than ever and I am not running away,
I can’t count the times I’ve drawn on that. So today I’m here to say to you, It Definitely Gets Better. If that isn’t your experience right now, then draw from mine, and from the countless others making videos just like this one to share their experience and hope with you. Because we do know. It Gets Better.
You’re a good person, and You are loved. So stick around. There are great things out there in the world waiting for you – just around the corner. Hang in there.
It gets Better, and Better, and Better – Guaranteed!
This afternooon, U.S. District Chief Judge Vaughn R. Walker overturned California’s controversial Prop 8 Amendment to the state constitution that had made same-sex marriage illegal.
“Ultimately, the judge concluded that Proposition 8 ‘fails to advance any rational basis in singling out gay men and lesbians for denial of a marriage license. Indeed, the evidence shows Proposition 8 does nothing more than enshrine in the California Constitution the notion that opposite-sex couples are superior to same-sex couples. … Because Proposition 8 prevents California from fulfilling its constitutional obligation to provide marriages on an equal basis, the court concludes that Proposition 8 is unconstitutional’.” (see L.A. Times Update 1:47 pm)
All the opinions expressed in any articles, blog posts and Internet content written by me are my own and do not reflect the opinions or beliefs of any individuals or organizations with whom I associate.
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